Days Past

(This was written quite awhile ago. I revised a few lines.)

He slowly kissed her perked lips

As his hungry hand climbed up her thigh

Lustful moans for her and

Pleas not to be returned to reality

Were released from his chest.

Hovering between temptation and actuality,

She watched as the clock’s hands turned

The sun began its descent, her desire for his

Delicious lips increased

Time’s limit pushed farther back.

If only the hourglass would cease to sift and

We remained in this moment of melody—

He sang in her ear as his passion grabbed her close,

Heat overtaking her entirety like the wail of Coltrane’s sax.

Soon after they departed, hearts filled with lost time

Unable to live life truly relaxed

Since exposed to his musical mixture of blues and jazz,

She spent days between then and now to build

Immunity to his harmony

Riding her mind of his symphony

Until he stepped on stage again

This time exposed to his songs

Daily.

One day after work she invited him up to her place,

Together they shared thoughts about music, politics, and race

He stretched his arm across the couch nervously contemplating his endeavor

Abruptly jumping up

Unaware of how to

Slow down the pulse moving like danger.

She touched his skin, he slowly moved in

This just can’t end, she breathed in him.

Three days pass.

Their conversation went as smooth as Roy Ayers’ voice,

So her hopeful heart naïve to unexpected sores

Shared her magnetism to their fever,

To the tranquility of his being.

Silence loomed

Until he released a sigh of disillusionment:

I can’t…Her and I have a history and…

Words penetrate painfully

Causing the stage she had designed

The light inside her eye to

Vanish

Leaving only the desirous wails of the horn section

Echoing throughout the tunnel of

Love’s whirlwind swept her up

Dropped her outside the Friday night venue

To find a ticket in

To find a ticket in

She still has yet to find a ticket in

Sadness

Evaporates from her lips

As she sits listening

To little droplets carrying rhythm—

Rhythm that orchestrates her heart

To beat at unaccustomed paces

Rhythm that makes Cupid’s strums of

Melodic marriage understood

Rhythm that makes truth believable

Rhythm that conquers the hourglass

Rhythm that hibernates in her bones

In her thoughts

In her soul

She cannot stop feeling the rhythm

Wishing it was close like those days past.

The Consequence of Unrequited Love

I dreamt of you the other day.

Now I can’t rid my mind’s eye of your face.

It’s not that you were the one who got away.

You are the one who chose not to stay.

A lifetime later you still remain

Deep in my heart, the memories don’t seem to fade.

Sorrowful tears trigger my shame

Of a past when my soul lost its way.

Then I remember the love that was made,

And I wonder how you have aged.

And if we met, would things be the same?

These imaginary moments float away
As events of married life and children distract my brain.

It's odd how we have walked parallel lives.
Do you remember how our coincidental encounters
Became more purposeful over time?
Once acquaintances, then friends, then lovers
Was our end always your endeavor?

Answer me!
This is my last plea
For help out of Wonderment
Where the ache of letting go diminishes quickly,
Where I can reclaim my dignity.

Here again, I see you in the flesh.

This connection never ceases to end.

The echo of loss rumbles through my chest.

Spinning my psyche into unrest.

My questions of the past are muted.

It takes days to recover from this disturbance.

Had I known the consequence of unrequited love...

Giant's Hands (2003)

"The one person who will never leave us

Whom we will never lose is ourselves."*

These words of my muse breeze the tip of my bottom lip

As I anxiously search for my scattered regrets

Slashed out by a giant's hands
No one can know of these secret plans
But the giant does not heed my plea for sympathy

No, he took Cupid's arrow bent it over his knee
Glared in delight at the serrated edge and stabbed consistently
His eyes rolled back
And his toes curled up in ecstasy
Stealing my security

"The one person who will never leave us
Whom we will never lose is ourselves."

I could have run away like so many other days
When I refused to face life
But this time, I took the knife from his clutched hand
And split apart my strife
Put an end to all the misery
Of what others say is to be
Finally I can breathe
And the giant has empathy
Yea, he feels for me

Gives me back my regrets
Gives me back my regrets
Gives me back my regrets

On the condition that I will never forget:
"The one person who will never leave us
Whom we will never lose is ourself."
*bell hooks (2002) Communion: The Female Search for Love